“she’s got her own clout, her own buzz —her body’s tea she supa thick supa pretty— but she ain’t for me”

About six months ago, I decided to uproot my dare I say stable life in Los Angeles. I somehow planted a seed of thought in my head that I needed to be close to family and friends and I’m too far away. me being closer would just making life and everything better I was wrong.

Six months in I’m now questioning myself— Why did I do this? Who did I do it for?

All the questions that come to mind when you’re regretting a life decision and none of my answers were coming up ME! I DID THIS FOR ME!

I can’t blame anybody but myself and the word blame seems like such a harsh word— but that’s where I’m with it right now, I was fine had a great job roof over my head, a very very stable income all was well with the life I was curating for myself all be it in different part of the world it started to seem selfish because I was missing family and friends missing out on certain events but I forgot that sometimes life is not meant to lived for anyone else but yourself.

Now I’m in a place where although it’s a good time and I am closer to friends I am closer to family. I’m just not happy— I’m not ecstatic about work anymore I’m not stable as I once was— money is there but not as lucrative as it once was and the change has mentally, physically and emotionally put me in this black hole that I’m currently trying to dig myself out of.

I’ve moved many places and have always been able to shake back find my way and thrive. That being said houston has been a different fight— although she hasn’t knocked me out she does have hands, I may have to bow out on this one and make my way back to a place where the life that I was creating from myself was a good one a stable one for me.

That being said adios houston!